So I thought some more, this is why you don’t do a lot of things you should—because you don’t do them. The only thing in the way of me going to gym was me, so when Darlene called a few minutes later, I got up and went. We had a good workout. I also went to the grocery store and started some chores. I realized that I had to move out of my own way to success!
The day was good, until I had a meeting about the child I’m an advocate for. It was a stressful and frustrating meeting, and because I am an emotional eater, I wanted to eat any and everything. I stopped at Walgreens and headed right for the snack aisle. I looked at Ben & Jerry’s, Klondike bars, ice cream sandwiches, potato chips and honey buns, and realized that I couldn’t eat any of it.
Then I found these blueberry yogurt cakes that were 100 calories and 15 crabs per serving which was a half a slice. There were two slices in the package. I figured even if I ate the whole thing, I would have been within my calorie and carb count, and could cut something else out later. Plus, I reminded myself that I’d lost 6 pounds, and didn’t want to gain an ounce back. But I still wanted something sweet and delicious to eat to calm me down. So I got them and some buffalo wings. I came home, ate the wings and one of the slices cake and put the other up for later. That was small victory for me.
There was a time that I would have bought a big bag of potato chips, some dip, a honey bun, some powdered donuts, a couple sodas, then went to get some Chinese food or McDonalds, and got up in my bed and eat it all. But, praise God, I chose the low calorie snack, and didn’t eat all of it.
It felt really good, one because I made a good choice, and two because I didn’t feel guilty about eating stuff I knew wasn’t good for me. Plus, by time I got home, I’d calmed down a lot. I said a prayer for my baby and his situation. I know he’ll be just fine. I just have to do my best for him.
For me, I’ve made the decision to stop sabotaging myself, believe that I deserve to have the best, and know that I am the only person who can make the choice to make it happen.